GoodGirl
15-02-08, 11:01 PM
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How r U
Today I present to you a very wonderful Jokes
I hope u like it>>
:Let's start
http://www.mpr9.com/vb/Picture/161.gif
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet
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Why did the women cross the road?Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
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Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
************************************************** *****************
So there is a cow and a chicken. And the cow goes... Baak!Baak! LOL (why would a cow go baak!?!) LOLAnd... LOL...the chicken goes ...LOL...Moo!LOL(why would a chicken say moo!?!) ....
************************************************** **********
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You 're a free man. Just tell me why didn 't you jump? " asked the doctor.To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can 't swim! "
************************************************** ****
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife 's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there 's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful! " "It 's not just one car, " said Herman, "It 's hundreds of them! "
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Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems
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There’s a man who has such big feet that when it rains, he lies down and uses them as umbrellas.
**********************
“ I snored so much and so loud that I used to wake myself up” a man told his friend.
“ What did you do about it?” his friend asked.
“ Oh,” the man said, “ now I sleep in the next room and I don’t hear a thing.”
******************************
last winter, the cow caught such a bad cold that she gave ice cream instead of milk.
*************************
On day, a man was riding a horse when he passed a dog on the road. “Good morning,” the dog said.
“I didn’t know dogs could talk,” the man said.
“Neither did I,” the horse said.
**************************
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
***********************
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."
TEACHER : Now, Simon,tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher
*********************************
http://www.mpr9.com/vb/Picture/197.gif
How r U
Today I present to you a very wonderful Jokes
I hope u like it>>
:Let's start
http://www.mpr9.com/vb/Picture/161.gif
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet
*************************************
Why did the women cross the road?Well thats not the point what is she doing out of the kitchen?!!!
********************************************
Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
************************************************** *****************
So there is a cow and a chicken. And the cow goes... Baak!Baak! LOL (why would a cow go baak!?!) LOLAnd... LOL...the chicken goes ...LOL...Moo!LOL(why would a chicken say moo!?!) ....
************************************************** **********
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You 're a free man. Just tell me why didn 't you jump? " asked the doctor.To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can 't swim! "
************************************************** ****
As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard his wife 's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there 's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful! " "It 's not just one car, " said Herman, "It 's hundreds of them! "
***************************************
Why is math always sad?Because it has too many problems
********************************
There’s a man who has such big feet that when it rains, he lies down and uses them as umbrellas.
**********************
“ I snored so much and so loud that I used to wake myself up” a man told his friend.
“ What did you do about it?” his friend asked.
“ Oh,” the man said, “ now I sleep in the next room and I don’t hear a thing.”
******************************
last winter, the cow caught such a bad cold that she gave ice cream instead of milk.
*************************
On day, a man was riding a horse when he passed a dog on the road. “Good morning,” the dog said.
“I didn’t know dogs could talk,” the man said.
“Neither did I,” the horse said.
**************************
There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"
The next night, when she didn't smell any perfume, she yelled again by saying, "She's not only bald, but she's too cheap to buy any perfume!"
***********************
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."
TEACHER : Now, Simon,tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher
*********************************
http://www.mpr9.com/vb/Picture/197.gif